The Blog of B

My friend (from Boston Spa) invited me to a fancy dress party where you have to dress up as something starting with B. (Her sister’s name starts with B and it’s her sister’s party so B it is. In case you wondered.) I’ve been trying to decide what to go as. To avoid going broke, I need something cheap and cheerful so I’m thinking bee or indeed bumblebee or butterfly…or wait, ballerina. Ballerina, ‘cos then I can make up for the time that I was supposed to be dressed as one in the Kindergarten Circus (oh yes) when I was five but someone took my ballerina outfit and I can’t remember what I ended up wearing. (Except I do  remember burlap sacks, which were supposed to be elephant trunks. During the part of the Kindergarten Circus where all the five-year-olds had to be elephants. What was this thing about?)

Anyway, another friend, who is a boy, and lives in Bristol, came over the other evening and I told him about the B costume theme. We proceeded to come up with 101 B ideas. E.g. “Wear a sign on your chest that says ‘my parents aren’t married!’” Brilliant that. He suggested some other boyish ideas, some of them involving the male anatomy. To be fair, it was I who came up with the perfect ‘pair of bollocks’ costume. But you know, I may just stick with ballerina. His top choice for my disguise (putting aside the anatomical options) was to go as a Beatle.

So then on the radio (BBC Radio 2) this morning Chris Evans on the breakfast show had Julian Lennon on talking about Beatles memorabilia (I think there might be a book). I ate butter croissants (with a side of butter) and listened to A Day in the Life playing and looked back to a bygone time when I used to listen to my mom’s old Beatles records (in a city that doesn’t start with B).

I hope the reader isn’t bored yet.

Y’know, I went to Barcelona the other day (it’s one nice thing about living in Blighty, the proximity to Europe) where I ate bacalao, browsed the stalls of la Boqueria, enjoyed the views from my Spanish friend’s balcony. From the city, my friend and I drove to the Pyrenees and met up with a group of her teammates from ultimate Frisbee (random non-B-related detail). We hiked and looked for bolets in the mountains and spent time in some lovely villages, including Boi. It was all so bonita (y un besito a mi amiga!).

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So back in Bristol I scribble things starting with B on the back of an envelope and hope that the beautiful blue sky doesn’t fade. Ah…it has. Well, I’m going to see a band at St Bonaventure’s Social Club later this week. Can look forward to that. Should B brill.

I don’t have to go to work today (just because, lucky me) so I’m going to see my friend’s new baby boy this afternoon. It’s good she didn’t have a girl or I couldn’t mention this in the Beautiful Blog of B.

So yeah, if anyone’s teaching their child about the letter B, that great sound ‘buh’, feel free to use this as an educational tool. Just maybe edit out the bit about bollocks… And if they ask about the unmarried parents sign maybe pretend you didn’t hear the question.*

*Just kidding. Under no circumstances should anything I write be considered educational in any way. Beware!